you mad corny bruh


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here is an album about some things that frustrate me but mostly my strong feelings for corn products of all sorts

i hope that you like it


released January 13, 2015

mike - everything

photo by elle dioguardi

thank you to dylan ewen for continuing to inspire me, korn, sonic for having corndogs, and social media for frustrating me.



all rights reserved


THE AUX Boston, Massachusetts

my name is mike nevin. leaner, saccharine, and cowboy boy are bands that i play in. this is my solo project. sometimes i release songs, sometimes i release sounds. this is where you will find any/all of those things.

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Track Name: you mad corny bruh
i see that you liked my profile picture
but you forgot to text me back a year ago
i have to stay off of your tumblr
cause you're so pretty that i wanna jump off a fucking cliff
you just walked past me on your way to the train
but you forgot to text me back when we're supposed to hang
you opened my snapchat
but didn't feel the need to snap back

turn off your read receipts
it's fucking killing me
turn off your read receipts
you realize that i can see that right? or are you a fucking idiot?

i see you typing, yeah i see you typing
we both have iMessage yeah i see you fucking typing
i see you tweeting, subtweeting
you don't need to mention me cause I DONT FUCK WITH U
i know you think you're cool at some frat party
probably getting really sketchy on some MOLLY
but you're not my girlfriend
you're not my girlfriend
you made it perfectly clear that you're not in fact my girlfriend

Track Name: life is a corndog
the first time i fell in love was when i was 18
but now i realize i got it all wrong
when i was 5, i went to visit my grandma
went to busch gardens and i had my first corndog
people say love at first sight isn't real
but also everyone is fucking stupid
cause when i took my first bite
my heart was beating like i got shot by cupid

if life's a corndog, could you pass the ketchup please
if life's a corndog, will you please marry me

it's so tight that corndogs aren't seasonal
so i can eat them any time of year
when i get sad about not having a girlfriend
i know that corndogs will be here
and unlike relationships that end
i can always rely on corndogs as friends
but that doesn't change the fact
that i'm sad all the time and wish a girl would kiss me

if life's a corndog, i don't mind being plain
if life's a corndog, can i give you my last name
if life's a corndog, i still wish i had a girlfriend
Track Name: hint of lime
have you ever been to a crazy party
where you were having a really fun time?
and somebody gets chips and salsa
but the chips they get are hint of lime?
that bums me out
makes me depressed
they're so sketchy
and they're fucking gross
that's a sure fire way to ruin my night i promise that

warning sign
never love someone who likes hint of lime
but if you already do, i can't blame you
at least somebody loves you
warning sign
there's so many better corn chips to eat instead of hint of lime
like literally any other food

but it's not just the chips
that are making me feel like shit
it's pretty clear that i'm losing my mind
cause i spend most my time watching worldstar vines
and tossing and turning in my sleep
i have nothing to do but i hate every week
i feel like a bag of dicks
but i'd rather feel like this than like a bag of hint of lime chips

warning sign
don't talk to me if my hands are down near my thighs
but if you do, it's plain to see
i wish somebody loved me
warning sign
stay away from me if you honestly like hint of lime
we definitely won't get along
Track Name: korn is definitely a band
i used to have really bad acne
and everybody made fun of me
mostly cause i listened to metal
and all of my clothes were black band tees
at the time i would get so fucking bummed
and feel like no one understood me
now my acne's not that bad
but everything else is pretty much the same

sitting in my brothers room
listening to life is peachy
honestly, Korn is tight
i'm a freak on a leash, so come and kiss me

3 years ago for christmas
i got my brother the new korn cd
it really ruined my day
like when girls don't wanna kiss me
it was the cd that was sketchy dubstep
why the fuck did they think that would be tight?
it really sucked a lot
and my brother didn't even find it that funny

siting in the living room
listening to shitty dubstep
honestly, Korn is fucking lame
and now i feel like a pile of dog shit
Track Name: halloween (happy)
on halloween, i decided to dress up as myself
when people didn't get my costume, i said i was depressed
everybody started laughing, i didn't get the joke
so next year, i'll dress up as happy or maybe a ghost

i hope i'm at a party
that has a bowl of candy corn
so i can get a stomach ache
and watch a bunch of spooky movies
with my friends

halloween is the only day where i don't have to be sad
that's why i actually think it's pretty rad
when Iiwas younger and got to houses that gave full sized candy bars
i'd say this guy is definitely doing something right
yeah i want to grow up and be just like him

i hope that i get candy
especially candy corn
but since i'm sad
i'll end up watching lots of spooky movies alone

or i could just watch porn
Track Name: movie theater
do you want to go to the movies with me
and see a science fiction film
we could go and see a matinee
and sit where ever we want cause the seats won't be filled
i can't wait to go and get some tasty snacks
but i wish that i had been warned
i'll settle for some candy
but how the fuck don't they have kettle corn?

it's not your average popcorn
it's so sweet
it makes me so happy
it makes me feel complete
but theaters don't sell it
so i'm always sad
if they just sold kettle corn
i wouldn't feel this bad
Track Name: i'm mad corny bruh
i know that i can be a lot
it doesn't help that i'm texting you nonstop
i'm just always on my phone
cause i hate how i feel always being alone
i drive people away easily
it's not so easy being me
even though all my friends think differently
it's cause i'm so fucking miserably corny

i know it's true
technology has ruined my life
i know it's true
one word texts feel like a knife
i know it's true
i'm sad, are you too
if you are, i'll try to change that for you

i want to be facebook official so bad
isn't that statement in itself really sad
if i got my twitter verified
it would give me some sort of stupid false pride
and it's so depressing when i might
delete an instagram picture with less than 10 likes
it's all the void, it's dumb
that i get happy from comments, tweets, and likes from a special someone

it's true
that nothing matters when i'm with you
i know it's true
ihat linked in isn't all that cool
i know it's true
i'm corny and so are you
i would get a flip phone for you

and so you know
whenever i say you, i really don't know who it's directed to
that's for you to decide if you think that you could be my boo
and i hope
that anyone posts this on social media
cause even though i'm throwing heat
i hope you hear this and relate to me
cause when i'm sad and all alone
i can go and pick up my phone
and text a girl who i want to date
and get no response because she doesn't stay up this late