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you mad corny bruh

by THE AUX

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1.
i see that you liked my profile picture but you forgot to text me back a year ago i have to stay off of your tumblr cause you're so pretty that i wanna jump off a fucking cliff you just walked past me on your way to the train but you forgot to text me back when we're supposed to hang you opened my snapchat but didn't feel the need to snap back turn off your read receipts it's fucking killing me turn off your read receipts you realize that i can see that right? or are you a fucking idiot? i see you typing, yeah i see you typing we both have iMessage yeah i see you fucking typing i see you tweeting, subtweeting you don't need to mention me cause I DONT FUCK WITH U i know you think you're cool at some frat party probably getting really sketchy on some MOLLY but you're not my girlfriend you're not my girlfriend you made it perfectly clear that you're not in fact my girlfriend YOURE MAD CORNY YOURE SO FUCKING CORNY bruh
2.
the first time i fell in love was when i was 18 but now i realize i got it all wrong when i was 5, i went to visit my grandma went to busch gardens and i had my first corndog people say love at first sight isn't real but also everyone is fucking stupid cause when i took my first bite my heart was beating like i got shot by cupid if life's a corndog, could you pass the ketchup please if life's a corndog, will you please marry me it's so tight that corndogs aren't seasonal so i can eat them any time of year when i get sad about not having a girlfriend i know that corndogs will be here and unlike relationships that end i can always rely on corndogs as friends but that doesn't change the fact that i'm sad all the time and wish a girl would kiss me if life's a corndog, i don't mind being plain if life's a corndog, can i give you my last name if life's a corndog, i still wish i had a girlfriend
3.
hint of lime 02:07
have you ever been to a crazy party where you were having a really fun time? and somebody gets chips and salsa but the chips they get are hint of lime? that bums me out makes me depressed they're so sketchy and they're fucking gross that's a sure fire way to ruin my night i promise that warning sign never love someone who likes hint of lime but if you already do, i can't blame you at least somebody loves you warning sign there's so many better corn chips to eat instead of hint of lime like literally any other food but it's not just the chips that are making me feel like shit it's pretty clear that i'm losing my mind cause i spend most my time watching worldstar vines and tossing and turning in my sleep i have nothing to do but i hate every week i feel like a bag of dicks but i'd rather feel like this than like a bag of hint of lime chips warning sign don't talk to me if my hands are down near my thighs but if you do, it's plain to see i wish somebody loved me warning sign stay away from me if you honestly like hint of lime we definitely won't get along
4.
i used to have really bad acne and everybody made fun of me mostly cause i listened to metal and all of my clothes were black band tees at the time i would get so fucking bummed and feel like no one understood me now my acne's not that bad but everything else is pretty much the same sitting in my brothers room listening to life is peachy honestly, Korn is tight i'm a freak on a leash, so come and kiss me 3 years ago for christmas i got my brother the new korn cd it really ruined my day like when girls don't wanna kiss me it was the cd that was sketchy dubstep why the fuck did they think that would be tight? it really sucked a lot and my brother didn't even find it that funny siting in the living room listening to shitty dubstep honestly, Korn is fucking lame and now i feel like a pile of dog shit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNumuyTqHv0
5.
on halloween, i decided to dress up as myself when people didn't get my costume, i said i was depressed everybody started laughing, i didn't get the joke so next year, i'll dress up as happy or maybe a ghost i hope i'm at a party that has a bowl of candy corn so i can get a stomach ache and watch a bunch of spooky movies with my friends halloween is the only day where i don't have to be sad that's why i actually think it's pretty rad when Iiwas younger and got to houses that gave full sized candy bars i'd say this guy is definitely doing something right yeah i want to grow up and be just like him i hope that i get candy especially candy corn but since i'm sad i'll end up watching lots of spooky movies alone or i could just watch porn
6.
do you want to go to the movies with me and see a science fiction film we could go and see a matinee and sit where ever we want cause the seats won't be filled i can't wait to go and get some tasty snacks but i wish that i had been warned i'll settle for some candy but how the fuck don't they have kettle corn? it's not your average popcorn it's so sweet it makes me so happy it makes me feel complete but theaters don't sell it so i'm always sad if they just sold kettle corn i wouldn't feel this bad
7.
i know that i can be a lot it doesn't help that i'm texting you nonstop i'm just always on my phone cause i hate how i feel always being alone i drive people away easily it's not so easy being me even though all my friends think differently it's cause i'm so fucking miserably corny i know it's true technology has ruined my life i know it's true one word texts feel like a knife i know it's true i'm sad, are you too if you are, i'll try to change that for you i want to be facebook official so bad isn't that statement in itself really sad if i got my twitter verified it would give me some sort of stupid false pride and it's so depressing when i might delete an instagram picture with less than 10 likes it's all the void, it's dumb that i get happy from comments, tweets, and likes from a special someone it's true that nothing matters when i'm with you i know it's true ihat linked in isn't all that cool i know it's true i'm corny and so are you i would get a flip phone for you and so you know whenever i say you, i really don't know who it's directed to that's for you to decide if you think that you could be my boo and i hope that anyone posts this on social media cause even though i'm throwing heat i hope you hear this and relate to me cause when i'm sad and all alone i can go and pick up my phone and text a girl who i want to date and get no response because she doesn't stay up this late

about

here is an album about some things that frustrate me but mostly my strong feelings for corn products of all sorts

i hope that you like it

credits

released January 13, 2015

mike - everything

photo by elle dioguardi

thank you to dylan ewen for continuing to inspire me, korn, sonic for having corndogs, and social media for frustrating me.

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about

THE AUX Boston, Massachusetts

my name is mike nevin. cowboy boy, verdigris, and leaner are bands that i play in. this is my solo project. sometimes i release songs, sometimes i release sounds. this is where you will find any/all of those things.

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