christmas isn't funny anymore

by THE AUX

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about

the year 2016 was a really shitty year for the world and my year wasn't great. it's hard to write funny christmas songs when the world sucks and when you're not feeling that funny. so here's my shot at that. hope you enjoy.
i love you all a lot.
happy holidays.

- mike

special thanks to my family for always keeping my holiday spirits moderately up.

special special thanks to hannah liuzzo for letting me borrow her bass so i could finish this record before christmas was over.

credits

released December 22, 2016

mike nevin - everything

gang vocals on "december" by olivia laratta, matt politoski, zach weeks, and alex pickert

all songs written by mike nevin, except "last christmas" written by george michael

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license

all rights reserved

about

THE AUX Boston, Massachusetts

my name is mike nevin. leaner, saccharine, and cowboy boy are bands that i play in. this is my solo project. sometimes i release songs, sometimes i release sounds. this is where you will find any/all of those things.

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Track Name: december
here it comes
it's colder than it was
i'm starting to relive
the times i've never loved
and the sun
sleeps earlier than it does
when i don't feel the lump
inside my throat near my tied tongue

oh december, you've taken away from me
my means for comedy
now i just want to sleep
until 2017
oh december, you're sneaking into my room
or you're stealing my sense of humor
and i feel sick
a month of post nasal drip
and i've used up all my wit
it's christmas and i feel like shit

help me have a tolerable christmas please
Track Name: happy on christmas
another year of used up luck
and i still found ways to fuck it up
the holidays became a crutch
to lean upon when i'm in this rut
i walk around the snowy streets
and sink into my self pity
and feel like i'm the only one alone
who wants more than gifts or mistletoe

i know it's not all bad
but this season bums me out

i wanna be happy on christmas
i wanna be running down the stairs
i just wanna feel how i felt when i cared
i wanna be excited for the presents
how i felt when i was a kid
but every year it gets harder to give a shit
and i don't know if it's something that i did
i'm the only one unhappy on christmas again

now every year is the same theme
cuz i turned myself into a fucking meme
this year i turned 25 years old
i can't complain about getting coal
and one thing i know is that santa claus
doesn't care if i fuck up at my retail job
i wanna dissolve like a snow flake
i'm so fake it's only a day, it's only a day

it's hard to keep making jokes
cuz sometimes that's what i feel like i am
Track Name: all i wanted for christmas was my fantasy football super bowl
i didn’t want a lot for christmas
there was just on thing i hoped
i just wanted a chance to be in
my fantasy football Super Bowl
i just needed 6 more points
now i feel like a fuckin dork
why did i fall short?
i’m so mad about a fake sport

i didn’t want a lot for christmas
there was just on thing i hoped
i just wanted a chance to be in
my fantasy football Super Bowl
my christmas present could’ve come early
with most the games on christmas eve
but Kevin Carroll beat me
and he’s the worst one in our league

i just needed 6 more points
my defense got negative 1 point
it was out of my control
all i wanted for christmas
was my fantasy football Super Bowl

i was in first place and ran out of my luck
and i could've won $700 bucks
Kevin barely made the playoffs
i hope he loses his day job
santa couldn't give me the one i really needed
it was melvin gordon's knee

i don't want a lot for christmas
now there's just one thing i hope
i need mikey to win the last game
and have kevin's team literally choke

i didn't get my chance this year
so i'll drown in christmas beer
what more can i say?
all i want for christmas is kevin carroll to lose the game
Track Name: last christmas (explicit version)
i literally just sang the original lyrics and added the word "fuckin" in a bunch of times and then ended it early cuz the original song is pretty long and y'all wouldn't wanna listen to me cover the whole thing